A Momma’s World

Momma and girls

My Momma and My Girls

Being a Momma is probably hands down the most rewarding yet toughest job anyone of us will ever experience.  We have to make the hard decisions with the best interest of our children, no matter how conflicted and unpopular they may be.  Even if it lands in them crying, screaming and yelling that you don’t love me.  First comes the guilt, then the internal struggling, questioning and finally the hope that we have made the right decisions.  That our children will grow from our decisions and there won’t be serious consequences and repercussions.

The unsureness starts so early.  Almost as if they are training us for what is to come.  A challenge to figure them all out and to get it all right.  From day one it’s a guessing game.  They cry, we feed them, they cry, we change them, they cry, we try to rock them to sleep, they cry, we cry, they cry some more and we wonder what on earth am I doing wrong. 

Then they grow up and it continues, but in reverse.  We feed them, they complain, we clothe them, they complain, we try and comfort them and man oh man, they are way too old for that (so enjoy that one while you can). 

So many questions and so many consequences. 

Is there something really wrong or am I really just young and dumb and have no idea what I am talking about as the doctor said?

Should I take them to the Dr. now or wait and see if they feel better tomorrow? 

Are they really sick, or is there something else going on in school that they don’t want to go?

Should I take her back to physical therapy, it’s not like she listened the last time and does the exercises they told her to help with the same problem on her other knee? 

Should we put her on medication or change her medicine? What if it doesn’t help or makes things worse? 

The questioning and doubting ourselves goes on and on.  Huge lesson learned Don’t EVER “WHAT IF”.  It never solves anything and it will only drive us crazy.

Don’t even get me started on the boys.  There is no help when it comes to them and the fact that they will inevitably break our little girls’ hearts.  The biggest question being should I choke him, shoot him, or just run him over with a truck?  Definitely the truck that will obviously look like an accident.  Forget it, “Boys have COOTIES” and we will leave it at that.  I wish cooties were the only thing we had to worry about when it came to “the boys”.  

I think we could come up with an ABC’s for Mommas.  I can guarantee that Easy will not be on it for the E’s. But we were given this job for a reason and I’ve been told that the lord would never give you anything that you couldn’t handle.  As tried and tested as that may be we will not always make the right decisions for our little ones at first and sometimes we will probably have to go back to the drawing board and start over.  Some of us will inevitably take the scenic route but we will get there. 

We need to stay strong and keep our heads up knowing that we always have the best intentions for them and everything we do, we do for our children.  No matter how hard and how heart breaking our decisions may be we do what we feel is right for our children whether they like it or not.  If we hear I HATE YOU, believe it or not, we are doing our job.  It’s to be their momma not their friend.

Some day they will thank us (atleast I hope so).  But what do I know my biggest goal in life is to not irrevocably screw my children up.

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